


See your halo

by MissSanguineOus



Series: Founding mother, founding father [4]
Category: Belgariad/Malloreon Series - David & Leigh Eddings
Genre: F/M, I'm slowly running out of lyrics, dancing & theological discourse, should have picked a longer song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 03:27:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14803505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissSanguineOus/pseuds/MissSanguineOus
Summary: There's a royal ball in the Rivan castle.  Obviously, Relg is not a fan. Taiba - obviously - quite the opposite.





	See your halo

There were people everywhere. All around him, dancing, laughing, eating, drinking, being loud and unbearable. Relg crept by the walls of the ballroom, cautious not to step within the range of any of the guests attending the ball – the celebration of Belgarion and Ce'Nedra's engagement.

When he finally found an empty, quiet corner for himself, he slipped into its shadow with relief.

He shouldn't have come here in the first place, he knew he shouldn't. But Belgarion invited him personally and some small part of Relg wanted to believe in sincerity of this invitation. The diviner was aware that he wasn't the friendliest of people, he knew that his companions were much more content when he wasn't around, yet for some reason, he felt unexpectedly attached to those people and didn't want to deter them from himself by refusing to take part in the celebration. He didn't have to stay long, after all. Or talk to them. Or...  _revel._

Relg observed the dancing pairs with distaste. All these men and women, being so careless and close to each other... and it wasn't just husbands and wives. Strangers, holding each other, chatting, swirling around the dancefloor, only to move to another partner a few seconds later... Relg shook his head. Such frivolities would never take place in Prolgu. Not that they had much parties there or that Relg enjoyed those, but they were much more calm and dignified, without all the noise and dancing.

Relg felt he wouldn't be able to partake in it for much longer. He was about to retreat, when he glimpsed Taiba, swirling around in the crowd of dancers. The diviner tried not to notice that she looked more beautiful than ever, even though her attire was modest, even plain, compared to most of the other guests.  However, she was laughing joyfully, her eyes were gleaming and she looked happier than he'd ever seen her.

To his dismay, the Ulgo noticed that Taiba couldn't complain about the lack of dancing partners and as soon as one dance ended, another man was already waiting to accompany her in the next one.

Relg gritted his teeth. Some unpleasant feeling was burning at the back of his mind. Something that couldn't have been envy, obviously, of what should he be envious? Of her? Ridiculous. No, it must have been the same distaste he felt towards the other gamboling heathens that filled the room. Frivolous and godless just like her.

To make matters worse, her neck and shoulders and cleavage were obscenely exposed and when she swirled around her skirt lifted up and Relg could see her ankles. In horror, he realized he couldn't stop staring at the Marag, hypnotized by her movements, by her laughter...

At some point, her eyes met his. Relg felt a twinge of anxiety and, as it turned out, quite appropriately, because Taiba, making her way between the dancers, approached him with a wide smile on her face.

Relg hated it when she smiled. It distracted him and Taiba often used it to her advantage.

“I don't suppose you'd agree to dance with me?” the woman asked when she finally reached him.

The diviner shook his head, not trusting his voice.

“Well, maybe some other time” Taiba said, shrugging “Though... surely we could dance without endangering your virtue”

Relg snorted.

“Come on, Relg” Taiba said with amusement “Can't you allow yourself to be happy for once?”

“Such events... all _this_ ” Relg said, making a wide gesture, pointing to the entire room “It does not bring me joy”

“ _All this_ being... having fun?” Taiba asked “Enjoying yourself? Relg, you can't tell me you don't have any parties in Prolgu”

“We do! Rarely, because we don't like wasting time on such silliness and when we do, it's much more dignified”

“Let me guess... there's a lot of praying involved?”

“You're mocking me!”

“I swear I'm not” Taiba said “I'm just trying to understand your idea of entertaining yourself without insulting your god”

Relg glared at her suspiciously. In response, Taiba offered him the most innocent smile. The Ulgo's heart skipped a beat.

“Stop that” he said “Stop doing that”

“Stop doing what?”

“Stop smiling”

“Well, one of us has to”

“No, actually not. You pagans want to smile and laugh and be entertained all the time and you forget that our lives have a greater purpose. A serious one”

“Serving the gods?' Taiba asked “But, tell me, Relg, what use do the gods have from your prayers and psalms?”

“They prove my devotion”

“Oh, yes? And then what?”

Relg blinked.

“Then what?” he repeated.

“What will they do with it? By now, the gods must be convinced of your loyalty, we all are, Relg, but there doesn't seem to be anything you could do with it”

The Ulgo opened his mouth and closed them again. He couldn't focus enough to come up with a proper response.

Taiba continued:

“I think that a better way of serving your gods would be to actually live and enjoy your life, Relg. Make use of it. If you don't, you're wasting the gift you received from your god, don't you?”

That was too much for Relg.

“How can you... you can't just... you have no religion, no god! You know nothing of it!” he exclaimed “How can you... how _dare_ you say... presume... You understand nothing!”

“Oh do I? Tell me, Relg, what would you do if your gods couldn't hear your prayers? How would your idea of a good life look then?”

Relg's face paled. Taiba didn't know whether it was because of this particular question she asked or was he still outraged by her wandering into the theological field, which – up to now – was his field only. She decided to strike while the iron is hot.

“How would your 'righteousness' look like it if the gods couldn't see you?” she asked.

The question haunted Relg hours later when he was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep. He knew it was silly, he knew he shouldn't mind the words of a woman – a pagan – who knew as little of religion as Silk did of integrity. Let alone of  _his_ religion. Of course  _for her_ prayers and rituals were abstract concepts, a meaningless display. How could she understand the idea of talking to a god?

Relg was irritated by the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about Taiba's words, even though he knew he shouldn't be susceptible to her mockery. Because it  _was_ nothing more than an attempt to mock him. She didn't even believe in gods! How could they talk about them as equals?

_What would you do if your gods couldn't hear your prayers?_

Ridiculous. She was just trying to vex him.

_Nothing would change,_ Relg responded involuntarily.  _I'd serve them as faithfully as I do now._

And it didn't matter, because gods were almighty and could hear his prayers.

Having thought that very decisively, Relg finally managed to hush his fretful mind and, eventually, fall asleep.

Soon he learned, however, that he wouldn't be given the consolation of a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

In his dream, Relg found himself in the very same ball chamber he left a few hours earlier. Yet this time, it was empty and all the candelabras and chandeliers were put out.

Such tranquil setting appealed to Relg much more than the previous one did, yet he couldn't fight the feeling of slight melancholy and emptiness when, where there used to be light and life, now was only cold emptiness.

He wasn't alone. He knew that form the beginning, even before he saw her.

She was standing in the corner and her very presence seemed to brighten the space around. The Marag seemed oddly out of place here – warm and lively and sparkling in the cool void.

Taiba smiled, walking towards him, and her smile was enough so that the glow of the thousand candles wasn't necessary. It was the same smile that captivated him so unfortunately earlier. Just like it did now, and all the zealot could do was stand and stare.

Taiba stood in front of the Ulgo and reached out to him. Relg, instinctively, lifted his hand to take hers, but stopped himself at the last moment, realizing what he was about to do.

“The gods can't see us now, Relg” Taiba said “Will you dance with me?”

No one could see them now. No gods, no men. And he could dance with her.

Dreaming, he easily saw what he denied while being awake. That he wanted to dance with her. He was envious of all the smiles and joyful glances Taiba so generously granted to those around her. He  _wanted_ to be among those who received them. No, he wanted to be  _the only one_ to receive them.

Why? Why was he so possessive of his personal nightmare? Why should he care about her smiles and her laughter?

He didn't know. What did matter to him not was the fact that she was still waiting for him to take her hand. And that she was smiling. To him.

He took her hand.

Relg woke up drenched in sweat, breathing heavily and with his heart beating fast. He jumped out of his bed and ran towards the window. Splashing his face with cold water from the bowl that stood on the parapet, he tried to revive himself and shake off the nightmare.

Resting his forehead against the cold window glass, the Ulgo forced himself to breathe slowly. He started praying, but he kept mixing up the words and if any god could hear him, he'd have trouble with understanding the incoherent mumble of the agog zealot. Not that said zealot himself could understand  _anything_ .

 


End file.
